Happy Stress?

I feel like I can get so overwhelmed about things. For example, early February my life was all about the Upperclassman Musical Sweeney Todd  and I would be at school for numerous, numerous hours working my tail off for this production. I would be on the edge and be consumed with stress. The stress really messed with my head and I started to hate to do it. It wasn't until the last two show nights that I absolutely loved being a part of it. I personally dig theatre and being a part of something amazing. I was doing exactly what I love, and I would just push it aside and let stress CONSUME me. A lot of things we do in life we get so consumed in and just forget why we did it in the first place. Now that I look back at Sweeney Todd, I kind of miss it. I mean, it wasn't all absolute chaos, it had its great moments. But, I know for sure, if I actually was more peaceful, I would have enjoyed it a lot more. We can't get little things get us down and ruin our day.. WOW how many times have we heard that before? It's just one of those things you have to experience, can't just hear and listen. Lately, I've been overwhelmed about how God is using me. I feel like I need to be on top of everything and I barely cut myself slack. Yesterday I came up to the conclusion that I need to get my rear in gear and start fundraising for this upcoming summer. Student Leadership University 101 is $715, Chicago is $510, and Christian Youth In Action is around $500 [like 490 or whatever] but all that is $1,725. THAT'S A TAD OVERWHELMING! I'm thinking to myself WHY IN THE WORLD DID I SIGN UP FOR THIS?! Haha but everytime I go up to my Pastor, I'm going off about how stressed I am and how I have NO idea how I'm going to do this and he just smiles and says: "Hannah, calm down. You need to trust God that He will support you and guide you through this. Money is not a big deal, don't make it bigger than it is." Of course I'm thinking to myself: this man is absolutely nuts. But he's honestly right, we stress ourselves too much. I'm one of those people. Telling my parents doesn't help a bit. "Hey dad I need to raise $1,725 by April 24th." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA his answer was to me: "Hannah. I don't have that kind of money." Yeah, my plan in the first place was to NOT get any money from my parents...I've had thoughts of dropping one trip. But this is an AMAZING opportunity to connect with my new church and really get to know the people there. I mean, ever since I moved and started going to this church, I've been desiring more connections with everyone. I'm the type of gal who loves knowing everyone and I admit, I'm kinda of a people person. So I feel obligated to go on these two trips with my new church [btw, for anyone thats lost, those two trips are Chicago and SLU 101, CYIA is with my old church] But whats ALSO stressful is that I have to go to two different mission training sessions on Sundays. Got Life [for my new church] is every Sunday from 5:30-8:15 and Dare to be Daniel [for my old church] is once a month from 6-8pm. Luckily, I kinda worked it out. But it's just Sundays are the last thing from a day of rest.

     ANYWAYS. Boy, I really know how to get off track, my greatest apologies. Where I'm trying to get at is that when we are on a journey and things just stress us out, we forget why we did things in the first place. What if we actually attempted to ENJOY what we SIGNED UP FOR?! Haha CRAZY, I know, but imagine how much more we would love doing what we do. For me, I love fundraising but when I get too stressed and all I see is where I can make money, it kinda takes the fun away from the opportunity to tell people WHY I'm raising the money and what God's plan is for me this summer. I guarantee you I will look back at this time and say it was all worth it. Maybe I should start acting like it WILL be worth it and enjoy it. My prayer is that God can improve that area in my character since it's been going on for too long, and if I'm going to be a full-time missionary and get stressed about money, it's like saying : "I doubt God will provide for me even though I'm following His will for my life." That sounds so weird! I need to get the doubt out of my head and continue to learn how to fully surrender and just TRUST God despite all the stress that can overcome me.

    Yeah, a Christian walk isn't a walk in the park. I feel like its walking in a minefield blinded. All you can do is listen to God or you can go your own way and step on a line and blow up and die. Sounds pretty accurate to me.