Hey, Stranger.

It's been a long time since I wrote on this... A lot has happened.
I've learned to accept that people come and go.
It really stinks.
Many of my closest friends either have gone to college or live far away. With it being my senior year, I've been thinking a lot about what a friend means to me. More specifically, how a friend actually stays my friend. So far, I don't really have a clue.
What's hard is that people change. They can't help it... It's natural. Even I've changed. If you really want to get technical, everyone's prefrontal cortex develops during the teenage years, and logical decisions and reasoning matures with aging. The brain learns how to socially interact in different environments. What's interesting is how everyone develops differently and how interests, desires, and attitudes can completely shift another direction. When God came into my life, I wanted my will to be aligned with His. So by getting to know Him more and serving Him, my interests, desires, and attitude changed so I could glorify Him with my life (then again, this is still a long work in progress). Following God is hard... You think you're walking and growing with some people along the way, but then there is a bump in the road and they've fallen behind. You want to stop and wait for them to catch up, but God has taught me that I just need to trust Him and know that He has a plan for them. The most I can do is pray for them and encourage them.
I've been really praying that God provides me with a friend I can grow with and enjoy life with, and trust in college. Last Friday, I received the wonderful news of my acceptance at Liberty University. Every single day I have been praying and getting really excited to go there next fall. Every part of me can not wait to be in an environment that will encourage me to grow in my walk with Christ and be surrounded by people who want to do the same and will encourage one another. It really is my dream. I know God has big plans for me there and I can not wait to faithfully accomplish them for His glory! But back to the subject- I really need a friend. More specifically- a girl who will keep me accountable and will be my best friend. The past couple months have been so rough. Coming home from a long day and wondering who to talk to stinks. This is what happens:
*Going through my phone* Should I text ____? No, they probably have other stuff to do, they're always really busy.
Maybe _____? Nah, when I talk to them, I feel like what I say goes through one ear and out the other.
______? Who am I kidding.. 
Not having someone to share life with and lean on is really hard.
Then, God burdened my heart...
He's my ultimate best friend.
I can talk to Him everyday through prayer, I can listen to what He has to say by reading the Bible-which is far by the BEST advice anyone can receive, and I can be reminded daily of His unfailing love for me.
"No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends." -John 15:13
Now when I get really excited or really disappointed about something, my first instinct is to pray. I just casually talk to God and tell Him about my day and apologize for stupid things I might have said and ask for strength to not do that sin again. My favorite time of the day is when I'm by myself in my car and I can just pray out loud without thinking twice about it. It's like He's sitting in the passenger seat (Although- in my walk with Him, it should be obvious that I want Him to be the driver of my life haha just clarifying).
Overall, I think God used this opportunity so I could rely on Him more and grow in my relationship with Him. I can truly say now that He pretty much is my BESTEST friend and I know what's it's like to have that intimacy with my Heavenly Father when there seems like no one wants or is there to listen. I'm so grateful of my salvation through Jesus Christ and CAN'T WAIT TO GO TO LIBERTY.

Guys, I mean it when I say I think about Liberty every single day. #dailythought

Why I Stopped Wearing Make-Up

I was sharing this with my friend today and decided to blog it :) It's a very interesting topic that involves most women. First I'm going to ask: Why? Why do girls wear make-up? I'm just going to say this now: I'm not saying that people who work with make up as a profession is a waste of time, or that people shouldn't wear make up for special events, or that people don't need make up. But when it comes to everyday living (which I'm focusing on), I've learned that girls who don't wear make up are even more attractive to [the right] guys. Hear me out. If you're going to cake on make up to go to school everyday to impress other people, that's not a good reason to use make up. First, think about all the money we spend on the nicest, newest make up brands. If you use it everyday, it's not going to last forever obviously. So you go back to the store to get more of this expensive stuff that you're just going to keep buying over and over again. Money adds up, and what you could do with that money for other causes, especially stuff to honor God, is innumerable. You could sponsor a child in Compassion, donate it to a soup kitchen, or even give it to someone who's homeless. You never know. Secondly, we use make up to impress others. Social media and teen magazines always talk about your outward appearance so you can catch the attention of that boy you're crushing on. This pressures teenage girls that they have to do things to themselves in order to make them beautiful and/or noticeable. How sad! God's word clearly says "I will praise You, because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14). We're already wonderful, remarkable, desirable, breath taking, and irresistible to God! He loves us more than anyone else could ever love us. We all have a place in our hearts that can only be filled with God and when we chase after boys or favor in others, we try to fill that hole in us that only God can fill. Many people try to fill it with drugs, sex, and alcohol, but only God can truly satisfy us. So when we wear make-up, is it to 'enhance' something that God already treasures and loves? Personally, I wore make-up because I was insecure with myself. In middle school, someone told me I was ugly and for a long time, I believed it. I didn't think about how God viewed me, I just wanted that affirmation from others. I wanted to feel desirable and I wanted attention. We all want to feel accepted and loved. But what we're doing is deepening our insecurities AND we're even setting up our brothers for trouble. By trying to charm them, we're only deceiving them ("Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised." Proverbs 31:30). I don't know about you girls, but I absolutely love and adore our brothers in Christ! But by trying to capture the lust in their hearts so we can attract attention to us is ultimately defrauding our brothers. It says in the Bible "And that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things..." (1st Thess. 4:6). Jackie Kendall from Lady In Waiting stated "Defrauding is to excited physical or emotional desires that cannot be righteously fulfilled." So let's really take an examination of our motives.
All of guys that I've talked to (guys who are true men of God, not complete jerks and are super awesome-yes, they exist) say that a woman who can proudly not wear make up is ultimately more desirable. It shows she's content, secure, and confident with herself! That's like incredibly remarkable because you don't meet a lot of real girls like that anymore. I don't know about you, but I want to be that girl.
I want to be so in love with God, a man has to seek God in order to find me. I stopped wearing make up because I want people to notice me for my personality and inward beauty because that will last forever rather than outward beauty. I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman and 1st Corinthians 7:34 ("An unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit") woman. I want to be a good representation of a Christian woman and most importantly, I want to glorify God in whatever way I can. Do you?

Alyssa Blake (:

This blog is dedicated to my absolutely beautiful friend, Alyssa Blake, my S.A.M. (:


God brought our friendship together. No doubt about it. He knew we needed each other, and together we could encourage one another and be there for each other! We've had to deal with similar situations which we could talk about with one another and just listen to each other's struggles. She's always given me accountability when I'm heading off track. It's so nice keeping each other accountable because we both are striving to be dedicated and amazing women of God. God has an amazing guy for this chick and anyone in the world would be lucky to know her! She's so sweet, funny, ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS, BEAUTIFUL, PRETTY, ADORABLE inside and out!, inspirational, caring, responsible, hard working, and just an amazing leader! Her future is gonna be so bright wherever God puts her! I'm so lucky to even know someone like her, she makes my days brighter, and I love talking to her! Knowing there's someone in the world that prays for me and loves me as my best friend and sister in Christ is one of the best blessings I can receive! We both love CEF [Child Evangelism Fellowship] and share the same interests in a lot! I just can't express how much I am lucky to have her in my life! We don't have any pictures together [yet] but our friendship has gotten so strong in a small amount of time. I can't wait to continue this amazing friendship and watch it get stronger and stronger! I LOVE YOU ALYSSA BLAKE OOOOBER MUCH! HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY S.A.M.!! (: I hope God continues to pour down blessings as you continue to serve him with that loving heart of yours! Have an AMAZING DAY!!! Praying for you!!! <3 God bless!!

yes, this is written at 12:19 am on the day of your birthday, April 20th, 2011.

Someday Soon

Ever heard the song "Someday Soon" by Francesca Battistelli? It talks about dreaming about her future husband. Have you ever thought about your future husband? I can't tell you how much I have!
My testimony consists of having my heart broken by looking for love in relationships instead of God. God taught me He's the ONLY fill in my heart. Which is so awesome! But He promised me that I will have a guy that will treat me right, be a man of Him, and be my absolute soul mate. He will truly be a blessing and gift from God... Probably way better than I could ever imagine! I always dreamed of my future husband to be a Christian, absolutely hilarious, sweet, amazing smile, and love kids like me! It just stuns me that God is preparing a man for me to live eternity with. Sometimes I just want to meet him already and I just think to myself it would make everything easier! However, I know God has told me I have some waiting to do. Until then, I want to be the best wife possible. In order to do that, I have some work to do.
God needs to make some adjustments in me and prepare me for my husband. I want him to have the best, so I'm really relying on God to prepare me! I'm also choosing to honor God by having an abstinence ring. I promised to God and my future husband that I would not give away my virginity to anyone until I am married. It's one of the biggest gifts I can give to him, and it's proven that people who wait till marriage have a happier and better marriage. [Yeah... I learned that in Sex-Ed in school... hahaha!]. I also want to strive to dress as modest as I can. I want to be a difference, not doing drugs, or drinking, or sleeping around... and even dressing modestly. Modest is HOTTEST (; I want to marry a Christian guy, and if my brother in Christ looks at me dressing immodestly, it's such a turn-off! Plus it's a turn-on to the wrong kind of people and a bad way to seek attention.. 
I can't wait to meet MAH MAN! (: Haha me and him will be a team for God and just honor Him through our relationship, engagement, and marriage! We will be a family on fire for God! I hope and pray for my man as much as I can.... I hope he's doing the same for me. :] God is Good, All the Time & All the Time, God is Good. <3 Hannah

Why is cursing so bad?

If you read my title, I think you know where I'm getting at here. 
Cursing. What is it? Well, my favorite dictionary [Urban Dictionary] gives an amazing definition of it as: "Cursing is when somebody acts or implies that they are better than another person, place, or thing". Okay, Cool Hannah, way to point out what cursing is. My point is, cursing is used to make yourself feel above someone. How do I know this? Ladies and gentlemen, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. I used to curse allll the time! 8th grade was not my hottest year in my Christian walk, I was still learning! That was before I got more seriously committed to God. But looking back on it, I remember how it made me feel cooler in some strange way. Everyone else did it. "They were just words". If you are a Christian reading this and don't understand why cursing is necessarily bad in a sense, stay with me. 


Okay. Hey Christian. Follower of God. Someone who has been born again through Jesus Christ. You know how we're suppose to follow in Jesus's footsteps? Like for example, I always wanted to be like my mom, so I try to follow in her footsteps. Us as Christians, we want to be like Jesus so we follow in his footsteps. When we're using foul language, how does it make Christians look? Everyone knows cursing isn't the friendliest thing on earth. It's highly frowned upon. If you think it isn't friendly, just imagine a cute little girl going up to her friend and saying "Hey b****, here's a flower I picked for you!" That kid doesn't really sound cute anymore, huh? No. See, when I was cursing, I would have people come up to me and say, "Wow, Hannah, I thought you were a Christian." Do you know how EMBARRASSING that was? Very, very embarrassing. So basically, if you're cursing like a sailor and claiming you're a follower of God, if I was a unbeliever, I would think: "HA! yeah, um, WHO'S footsteps is THAT PERSON followin?" It throws off their view of God. And I think you and I both know how much God HATES to be misrepresented.


You still there? Good :] Okay, so I'm talking about how cursing is bad, but "Hannah? How do you know God thinks its bad?" Well young grasshopper, let's turn our Bibles to JAMES 3. :] " but what does it mean by 'controlling the tongue' Hannah, stop throwing churchy words at me!" Well, basically its talking about the things we say. It's one of the hardest things to do! If you know me, I have the perfect capability to talk for hours [no. kidding.] and I still find it super hard to this day to think before I say stuff. Yeah, you know that saying "Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak"? yeah, I can't tell you how hard that is for me. Thankfully, I'm not the only one, we're all in this together, right? But like I was saying, we don't really THINK about what we're saying! I love the verse that says "Out of the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things should not be this way." (James 3:10) How convicting is that?! [btw: conviction is not guilt. Conviction is understanding your sin, and your desire to be right with God, guilt is like the opposite, its like a grudge of yourself, if that makes more sense] But think about it, with the same mouth, we can be giving someone a compliment, AND like an hour later, we could be saying some nasty stuff that just tears others down! It's kinda like being two faced, but two mouthed...? Yeah, lets just go with that. But another verse I absolutely love is 1st Timothy 4:12- "No one should despise your youth; instead, you should be an example to the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity." Did you notice the FIRST thing Paul says is to be an example by SPEECH? Aka: what you say! God wants us to demonstrate a living sacrifice to him, and cursing is not part of the kit and kaboodle.


God called my heart to Child Evangelism Fellowship, and I want to work with kids and telling them about Jesus, for the rest of my life. It's a strong passion, I just light up every time I talk about it. However, I get EXTREMELY defensive for some reason when it comes to people cursing and speaking foully around kids. I understand its the "real world" and all, but kids absorb that realllll quick, and next thing you know, they're going around saying it, not knowing its highly frowned upon! Think about it, going for a job interview, are they going to hire someone who curses constantly, or someone who wont offend public with those words? Some people might think I'm being just "extreme" about this but, I felt like God was laying it on my heart. I gave you only PART of what God says about it, feel free to find even more verses that support my point. I've had people be stunned how I can get upset and not curse. It makes people think when you choose not to do that kind of stuff! Just another way to make a difference in this world. Try it! It takes practice [ I admit, I slip on rare, RARE occasions, but hey, I'm a teenager too, ya know!] but don't give up. 


God bless, 
Your sister in Christ.. Hannah Banana (:

Happy Stress?

I feel like I can get so overwhelmed about things. For example, early February my life was all about the Upperclassman Musical Sweeney Todd  and I would be at school for numerous, numerous hours working my tail off for this production. I would be on the edge and be consumed with stress. The stress really messed with my head and I started to hate to do it. It wasn't until the last two show nights that I absolutely loved being a part of it. I personally dig theatre and being a part of something amazing. I was doing exactly what I love, and I would just push it aside and let stress CONSUME me. A lot of things we do in life we get so consumed in and just forget why we did it in the first place. Now that I look back at Sweeney Todd, I kind of miss it. I mean, it wasn't all absolute chaos, it had its great moments. But, I know for sure, if I actually was more peaceful, I would have enjoyed it a lot more. We can't get little things get us down and ruin our day.. WOW how many times have we heard that before? It's just one of those things you have to experience, can't just hear and listen. Lately, I've been overwhelmed about how God is using me. I feel like I need to be on top of everything and I barely cut myself slack. Yesterday I came up to the conclusion that I need to get my rear in gear and start fundraising for this upcoming summer. Student Leadership University 101 is $715, Chicago is $510, and Christian Youth In Action is around $500 [like 490 or whatever] but all that is $1,725. THAT'S A TAD OVERWHELMING! I'm thinking to myself WHY IN THE WORLD DID I SIGN UP FOR THIS?! Haha but everytime I go up to my Pastor, I'm going off about how stressed I am and how I have NO idea how I'm going to do this and he just smiles and says: "Hannah, calm down. You need to trust God that He will support you and guide you through this. Money is not a big deal, don't make it bigger than it is." Of course I'm thinking to myself: this man is absolutely nuts. But he's honestly right, we stress ourselves too much. I'm one of those people. Telling my parents doesn't help a bit. "Hey dad I need to raise $1,725 by April 24th." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA his answer was to me: "Hannah. I don't have that kind of money." Yeah, my plan in the first place was to NOT get any money from my parents...I've had thoughts of dropping one trip. But this is an AMAZING opportunity to connect with my new church and really get to know the people there. I mean, ever since I moved and started going to this church, I've been desiring more connections with everyone. I'm the type of gal who loves knowing everyone and I admit, I'm kinda of a people person. So I feel obligated to go on these two trips with my new church [btw, for anyone thats lost, those two trips are Chicago and SLU 101, CYIA is with my old church] But whats ALSO stressful is that I have to go to two different mission training sessions on Sundays. Got Life [for my new church] is every Sunday from 5:30-8:15 and Dare to be Daniel [for my old church] is once a month from 6-8pm. Luckily, I kinda worked it out. But it's just Sundays are the last thing from a day of rest.

     ANYWAYS. Boy, I really know how to get off track, my greatest apologies. Where I'm trying to get at is that when we are on a journey and things just stress us out, we forget why we did things in the first place. What if we actually attempted to ENJOY what we SIGNED UP FOR?! Haha CRAZY, I know, but imagine how much more we would love doing what we do. For me, I love fundraising but when I get too stressed and all I see is where I can make money, it kinda takes the fun away from the opportunity to tell people WHY I'm raising the money and what God's plan is for me this summer. I guarantee you I will look back at this time and say it was all worth it. Maybe I should start acting like it WILL be worth it and enjoy it. My prayer is that God can improve that area in my character since it's been going on for too long, and if I'm going to be a full-time missionary and get stressed about money, it's like saying : "I doubt God will provide for me even though I'm following His will for my life." That sounds so weird! I need to get the doubt out of my head and continue to learn how to fully surrender and just TRUST God despite all the stress that can overcome me.

    Yeah, a Christian walk isn't a walk in the park. I feel like its walking in a minefield blinded. All you can do is listen to God or you can go your own way and step on a line and blow up and die. Sounds pretty accurate to me.

Is it possible to be a Balanced Busy Bee?

Balance is pretty easy. If there is no eating, and too much eating, the balance would obviously be a "balanced", healthy diet. My life, it's either two extremes. Absolute boredom, or absolute chaos. It kinda proves how hectic things have been since I created this blog about two weeks ago, but today I'm actually writing my first blog. Only because today I've been in my room all day due to my random stomach virus. Sundays are never a day of rest for me, it's pretty much the opposite. Everyday of the week, I'm staying after school. Even if it rains and tennis practice is canceled, I go to get extra help with classes. I put a lot of pressure on myself to get all A's. I'm not very pleased with B's. I honestly try to be perfect too much. Being captain of the J.V. tennis team, and being called the best tennis player on J.V. can really make my head bigger. Getting all A's, being a regular church goer, staying out of trouble, and trying to look nice can really make my head big. I'm always striving for perfection. Even though I know I will never get it, I can't give up for some reason. I may be "the best player on J.V." but when middle of the season comes and I move up to Varsity, I will be the WORST player on Varsity. It's kinda like God. We may be all big and tough and number one on the Earth, but when it comes to God, we're rock bottom. I can get so caught up in my life and whats happening next. About 80% of my thinking is about the next thing, or the future. I daydream about what I want. Man, this blog makes me look really selfish. It's amazing when we pause and take a look at our current life style and just say "is it really worth it?"

I'm not one of those girls always getting in trouble. I don't do drugs, sleep around, drink or any of that. I go to Fellowship of Christian Athletes, YoungLife, Spotswood Baptist Church, Youth Group, and Higher Power. I do mission trips every summer. I've been called into Full-Time missions with Child Evangelism Fellowship, and absolutely LOVE God! I have so much Christian music on my iPhone and mp3. I. Love. It. I want to be absolutely devoted to God and fully surrendered everyday. I strive to be more like God and have more self-control, and more patience. I want to be a difference maker, I truly mean it. But, living a Christian life isn't easy. You're constantly keeping a check on yourself and making you're honoring God with everything you think, say and do. It's not just a decision, it's a daily process proving to God that you're totally game. We can't play God, we win the world for God, since He's the ultimate champion. So many things fly at us while we're trying to win for God, such as relationships, peer pressure, money, stress and so much more. As a teenager in high school, I find everyday challenging since I'm actually trying to live out my faith. Earlier in the year, it was the hardest! I was ON FIRE for God and it made the first couple weeks of being a transfer in a new school the hardest. I would cry, and love to be home. I feel like if school becomes more comforting, I start to check myself and question my faith a little. Am I settling for the world's views? Nowadays, it's a huge statement if you don't do drugs, sleep around, or drink. People who ask me if I do that stuff are literally SHOCKED that there is a teenager that is actually responsible. But why are they responsible? Who taught them to be like that? Living for God and just BEING a good example can make a huge difference as it is. You don't have to say God in every single sentence or wear a million Jesus shirts [you can, but] just being an example and doing what God says is ABSOLUTELY huge! I've learned that this year. Last week, someone came up to me and said "Why are you so nice?" Not to boast, but I honestly get commented on for that a lot for some reason. But this is the first time someone asked me WHY. I smiled and answered: "Well I'm not gonna lie to ya, but it's for sure Jesus Christ. I grew up in a Christian family, accepted Christ when I was 10 and ever since, been livin' the faith." I saw the wonder hit her face. Seed planted.

But like to what I was saying, lately I'm looking for more balance. Keeping a daily surrender with God is not easy, but it's what balances my life. I do have a busy schedule. God says I don't have to give it up, I just need to keep right with him. It's a big responsibility and a big challenge, but He loves me and desires to help me out even when things are moving fast. Being busy isn't bad. It helps you move on from the past and gets you focused on important things. Having a busy life really got my priorities straight. It does test your patience though, especially when times get EXTREMELY stressful. God is the ultimate comforter, and I've got to really experience that. It was actually nice having a day off today and just relaxing and reflecting on my life.

Thank God for stomach viruses.